In May of 2018, my best friend’s mother asked me to help her write a memoir.

Her name is Nicole.

She was diagnosed with both vascular and hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS), which is a connective tissue disorder, and has a probable diagnosis of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), which is a degenerative brain disease most commonly linked to individuals with a history of repeated head trauma.

At only forty-eight years old, this disease affects her motor function, mood regulation, and most importantly, her memory. Through many surgeries and exhaustion, she was forced to retire from her job as a physical therapist at the hospital. In time, she decided that if she couldn’t help people physically anymore, then she wanted to do it emotionally and spiritually by writing a book about her life and perspectives as a patient of these two afflictions. But with her brain the way it was, she needed help if she was going to organize and write a full manuscript, which is where I came in.

I began meeting with Nicole in her home when it was convenient for us both. We would sit for hours and talk about stories from her life and all sorts of other abstractions: philosophy, spirituality, fear, karma, the soul, the mind, music, education, forgiveness, grief, the meaning of life, etc.

I was seventeen years old at the time when we started working together, a high school kid with my identity wrapped up in being a high achiever, pushing to be infallible in the eyes of my family and community. All the while, I was mourning the loss of my grandfather who passed away in December of 2017. And unbeknownst to Nicole or anyone, I was struggling with addiction, depression, and suicide ideation, but wouldn’t allow myself the humility to address it out of fear for what it would say about me.

She saved my life.

Our partnership was nothing short of serendipitous. Through Nicole’s stories and compassion, I was able to come to terms with certain truths about myself and finally worked to recover my mental health and move forward. And with my help, she was able to tell her story and reclaim a piece of the purpose she’d lost long ago when giving up her career.

The main theme of the book: “How do I grieve an identity that no longer serves me? How do I reconcile my mistakes, forgive myself, and move on?”

I spent the early years of my work talking with Nicole, learning about her experiences, taking careful notes, and organizing an outline for the first draft. Given her CTE and the scattered nature of her thought processes, the dialogue and scenes in the book are a combination of both her hand-written notes and real conversations we had in person, stitched together to make a more cohesive narrative throughline for the reader. I did my best to emulate the tone and style of her voice in writing.

Once I had collected enough information from Nicole and had a clear vision of what I wanted the project to look like, I created a schedule over 2021-2022 to successfully complete a first draft of 65,000 words and preliminary revisions by self-imposed due dates.

Included in my portfolio are the first three sample chapters. I’m currently seeking representation from a literary agent.