“You know that moment when you make a joke and everyone actually laughs? That’s Jack Rose on a Tuesday. He’s that rare kind of creative who uses his imagination to take your half-baked brand ramble and turn it into something smart, sharp, and (when it's right) somehow laugh-out-loud funny. He doesn’t just ‘get’ your voice, but rather he builds it a personality, gives it timing, and makes it someone you'd want to get drinks with.

Jack’s not just a wordsmith but also a strategist in disguise. He listens closely, asks the questions you didn't think to ask, and is not afraid to make your organization stand out in the best way possible. Would I recommend him? Absolutely. Just be ready for your brand to have better jokes than you.”

— Aidan Turner, Founder & CEO of Grater Things

I did copywriting for a premium comfortwear brand.

Aidan Turner was a co-worker and friend of mine from the Blackstone LaunchPad at Syracuse University. We also attended the same church every Thursday evening for Mass and community dinners.

On campus, Aidan was well-regarded for his heart, hustle, and affable extroversion. Many, including me, also knew him as “the hoodie guy.” If there was a pop-up shop happening at a library, student center, or residence hall, you could almost guarantee he would be there representing his clothing brand Grater Things.

Following his graduation in 2025, Aidan has been determined to grow Grater Things on a national scale.

One day while I was prospecting for new clients, Aidan called me out of the blue. It was like God himself tossed Aidan’s ball into my court. The timing couldn’t have been more opportune.

I picked up the phone and we started chatting.

Aidan told me about his efforts to build up Grater Things post-graduation. He’d hired some freelancers from around the globe to help revamp his branding: the logos, the messaging, everything. His goal was to reposition Grater Things as a fun, bright, “cheesy” clothing brand for unserious and unapologetic comfortwear enthusiasts.

The issue? He couldn’t settle on the right brand voice.

The international copywriters he’d hired did their best to hit the mark, and AI tools brought him infinitesimally closer to stratching that nagging itch.

But the “it” factor Aidan was looking for still remained elusive…

“I want the best product descriptions on the internet,” he told me. “I want them to be punchy and fun, with lots of wordplay and wit. I immediately thought, Jack’s the guy for the job.”

Music to a copywriter’s ears.

Though I’d yet to prove to Aidan if I was the right guy for this job, I did my best to negotiate fair terms.

I told him I could send him a sample of a few product descriptions. He’d get a sense for my style and abilities; I’d get a gauge on the time required to complete all forty-eight descriptions. From there, we would decide on a reasonable timeline and price estimate for the whole project.

We agreed on this, and I got to work as soon as I hung up the phone.

Immediately, I consulted my growing playbook on writing good product descriptions.

The words of copywriter Sean McIntyre rung true in my head: a good product description should be like a skirt—long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep things interesting.

An effective product description must also account for the features of the product, the emotional benefits reaped by owning the product, as well as any deeper benefits a person might not even consciously be aware of…

Of course, I was writing for hoodies and sweatpants.

The average person isn’t motivated to buy a hoodie because they’re afraid of being ostracized by their family and friends, or any comparably distressing reason.

There are usually only a handful of questions a person considers when buying a premium article of clothing:

“Is the fabric comfortable to wear?” “Do I like the color?” “Does the garment look attractive on my body?” “Will it last for a long time?”

For example, while I was doing some research on the market for hoodies, I found a girl on TikTok who claimed that her hoodie “didn’t hoodie.” Meaning, for the silhouette of a hoodie to be aesthetically pleasing, there needs to be a little extra bagginess in the sleeves, and the hood needs to pillow around the neck rather than sag straight down the back.

These were the types of claims with which I had to contend.

Fortunately, Aidan already benefited from high-quality product pictures. I also suggested he add comprehensive sizing information for all of his garments; this stuff is do-or-die when you’re selling clothes to people who can’t physically try them on in a dressing room.

My job from there was pretty straightforward. I wrote unique product descriptions that covered the essential features and benefits of each product while staying true to the comedic, witty, and unapologetic brand voice of Grater Things.

I made forty-eight product descriptions; I’ve included ten of my favorites below.

Clicking the yellow text beneath each product will take you to its respective page on the Grater Things website.

You can also click here to view all the product listings.